Secret

There are dead bodies buried here

In my mask

I crack a smile

hasten words devoid

Believe me

Face is falling apart

Eyes drooping out of their sockets

Skin sagging from my skull

But I won’t tell anyone

Keep it inside

Keep it inside.

Rushing through lives

Stay awake, god, stay awake

Make sure they don’t know.

Their eyes are everywhere

Pressing their pupils against my naked flesh

I need something to keep me awake

The white blood, yes, The white blood

Press it into me, seething

Tightening the flesh

I’m okay now.

I’m okay, for now.

Weeks at a time

Gone

Lives fabricated

Lacing flesh

Losing myself

skin, bloody rose petals

Unfurl

Slap the bitch that accuses me

Fuck the woman that doesn’t.

The children I left behind are nothing to me

They don’t believe what is true.

All that is left is her.

The addiction,

The past,

The first love.