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I’ve died a million times

Seeing this moment in dreams

Until the tide awakes slumber

Here you are with me

In silence we unravel ourselves

Unfurl the pedals

Colors bloom

Becoming more of who we really are.

“Would you want to try makeup?”

I don’t know what to say.

Memories of the day before,

My face upon the mirror, lips a shade of red, cheeks glimmering like a god.

Looking at myself and wondering, wondering. . .

Who am I?

In a rush, trying to remove the makeup

Rubbing my lips until the pain is too much

Red streaming down the sink.

The guilt, The shame

What would everyone think?

I struggle in my answer,

To face the Fear.

Shame.

Guilt.

Embarrassment.

The pain of pulling back flesh and bone

Revealing my heart in hope of acceptance.

But in the end I said Yes.

Yes, and she loves me the same either way.